Vending Machine of Love

Vending Machine of Love is the official theme song for OnlyCans: Thirst Date. It was released in 2021 just prior to the release of the game.

Credits
Song Written and Performed by The Stupendium Additional vocals by Chel Wong Beat produced by Anywaywell Mixed & Mastered by oo oxygen

Available on:
 * Spotify
 * YouTube Music
 * Amazon
 * Deezer

Lyrics
This is a song about soft drinks, and nothing else Get your mind out of the gutter

Hey guys, are your lips dry? Any desiccated ladies trying to get by? I know the best way for the girls and the boys to Come together and enjoy a little moisture So you're waiting on the mate that's one-a-million? And carbonation ain't the way that you envisioned You say it's strange but baby shed your inhibitions And let your date slip into something aluminium

She's elegant and eloquent and so effervescent Subtle bubbles in my stubble feeling ever so pleasant Never thought I'd find a girl with such a delicate essence Free with the meal deal at the delicatessen, uh Saw you sittin' in the fridge with a twinkle Are you a multipack can or are you single? A little of sipping and a spritz isn't sinful I'm just finna get my finger in your ring pull

So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle 330 mil Get lost in the froth as the foam expands Get your lovin' whilst you're gluggin' on some OnlyCans

Now you've seen other paysite galleries But none of those girls taste like raspberries So if you think we're just some obscene cannery All our cans are over 18 calories So, give a spray for some flirtatious behaviour That come-hither hiss is what you came for We've been brewing up a plethora of flavours Say we're crude, you can never say we're tasteless

So if you drink it straight or with a mixer Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner Everybody's got a different fizzle in their spritzer What's it matter what ingredients are on your sticker? I haven't met you all, but it's contextual You're all impeccable if it's consensual If you're ace, demi, pan, flexible End of the day, we are all can-sexual

So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle 330 mil We can semi-guarantee that we won't be banned Get your lovin' whilst you're gluggin' on some OnlyCans

May be fizzy but I'll spit a little candour Sure it's sticky but we'll lick the spillage after There's only one app for tin-can philanderers Snapping what the can did with your candid camera

Can a can cancan? Yes it can, all the cans in Cannes are Canuck cans in Canada, Manly cans in Canberra in canoes Grabbing noodles and canoodling with cans in Can Tho Mexican cans in Cancun Scandalously scantily clad in their scanties and decanting at you Camping with a Scandinavian can Under a canopy, alone in a canyon with your can boo

Share a cannoli with Italian cans on the canals before a candlelit dance Then canter off to Canterbury for a canny romance, you better cancel your plans This Can-sonova can't handle the demand Of Cantabrian cañ-oritas in cantinas with fans on the Canary Islands Strip canasta 'til you're down to your pants And your can-panion froths over your hand Damn, these Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans So go over to - Can-bodia You can let the local flavour flow over you Getting down with the hard, round chromium Lovin's never been so low-sodium

Can looking like a snack? That's a canape Can-paining like Barack? That's a candidate Can sweet on your tongue? That's a candy cane Can rocking them guns? That's some cannonade Feel that can in your heart? That's a cannula Can sends it's regards? That's a Canister Inquisitive can? That's a canvasser Insensitive can? Cantankerous

So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you've been dreaming of If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle 330 mil Hey, don't touch, just hold the cam Get your lovin' whilst you're gluggin' on some OnlyCans

So download OnlyCans, the app for soda lovers It's got very high ratings Oh, oh sorry, no, it's very hydrating, my mistake